There's no time for tears I'm just sitting here planning my revenge.
My favorite part of this song is that no questions are asked. Taylor makes declaration after declaration about this person who so obviously wronged her. There is no space for excuses, no self blame. She stands on business that this relationship was horrible because this person was horrible and she is not going to give it any more time, or any benefit of the doubt. It’s a perfect example of knowing what you have witnessed and not trying to gaslight yourself into seeing it any different than it was.
I have felt (because I have been taught) that women are suppose to hold grace for the people around them. Ideas like "nobody’s perfect" or "who among us hasn’t made mistakes" have been weaponized against us to accept behavior that is more than just simply being human. Yeah those trite sayings are true technically, but they should never excuse physical, emotional, or spiritual abuse and all the turmoil that comes with it.
While I likely yelled this song at the top of my lungs in high school while dancing around my room over a crush who didn’t say hi to me when passing me in the halls, my adult self feels even more empowered by this song. Giving space and grace to people who apologize for their small human errors will always be a part of my personality. Excusing horrible people who use their power or position to do horrible things, especially to the most vulnerable populations, is never okay, full stop.
We could all be inspired by Taylors 16 year old words. Let’s strike a match on any time we wasted giving to these people and move on to the people who care. And if you need a moment to sit around and plan your revenge, that’s a good first step. Letting grief move through you is healthier than stopping to or hiding it away, it will always come back screaming until you acknowledge it. So for now let things burn burn burn, and soon enough the pain will fade leaving room for something better to come along.
Let's strike a match on any time we wasted giving to these people and move on to people who care.
I love Taylor Swift’s music and have a deep curiosity about who it is so meaningful to so many people. If you have any thoughts about this song in particular please share it in the comments below so that me and the Swiftie community that finds this space can enjoy your insights.
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