37 WEEKS | BABY 2

At 37 weeks with Kennedy I wrote a post about things I was thinking and that were happening. It was kind of fun to look back at that last week before Kennedy was born. How I was really feeling. So I thought I would write one for this pregnancy too. Things that have been on my mind and how I am really feeling.

-Honestly I am either feeling perfectly fine or completely awful. Sometimes within the same day. Most of the time I feel really good, and the end of pregnancy hasn't really stopped me too much from doing what I need or want to do. We go on long walks still, I work in the garden, I'm still able to do all the normal chores around the house - and I am so thankful.
But there are moments or hours where I feel like I am completely falling apart. Usually when I feel like baby is really low. I get these shots of pain down my inner thighs that are the worst. My legs get really restless. And I have been having tons of Braxton hicks contractions, especially at night. I feel like it just makes me feel overwhelmed not knowing when this baby will come. Also there is just not a lot of room left in me.
During those moments I just try to breathe and know that it will all be okay. And it always is. The anticipation is real though.

-I feel so much more prepared for this baby than I was with Kennedy. Everything is washed, I have a hospital bag. The house feels organized for the most part. I am just really really ready for this baby to come. While with Kennedy the night before she was born I made a long list of all the things I needed to do before the baby came and proceeded to do none of them because I set down that list that night and spent the next 20 hours laboring and giving birth. Ha. Luckily I know now even if I don't do everything I feel like I need to do, it all works out okay.

-Not only am I feeling prepared to welcome baby to our home, but I am so excited to meet her. It's been a long road and I am just so ready to get to know this little girl inside me. When we were struggling with infertility there was a time when I was talking to Daniel and trying to share how I felt. I tried to explain it by saying that when someone we love passes away the separation can be hard, even if we know or believe we will see them again. I felt a lot in those times that I just felt some similar pain, like I missed my babies and didn't want to be separated from them any longer. That feeling of separation was difficult. I don't know if that makes sense but it was the best way to describe how I felt. I believe we are all eternal beings, and just like I believe we will be reunited with loved ones in the next life, I also like to believe that we knew each other before. Anyway right now I am just so thrilled that me and this next little girl will finally be reunited for our time together here on earth. I am excited to know her again.

-I am nervous about birth but also remember it being one of the most glorious, empowering experiences of my life. I am interested to see how this time around is different or similar to Kennedy.

-I am so excited to see Kennedy with a little sister. She tells me all the time how much she loves baby sister. I am also so excited to just have some time with our family after she is born, so we can each get to know and love her. I'm not sure if we will have more kids or how many more we have, but  I feel so strongly that Daniel and I with these two little girls - in this moment
our family is perfect, whole, and complete.

Well that's what I've got. Can't wait to see what these next few weeks have in store. And I can't wait to welcome Baby Girl Barrick #2 to our home.