Certainly one or maybe two of those friends moved thus throwing off their life trajectory forever, but for the most part, we lived that sixth grade conversation out in real life three years later.
Then in high school we had to decide about college, but the options seemed limited, and when I chose BYU for my further educational experience, it wasn't really shocking news in the least.
I don't really remember thinking about being an actual adult in my childhood, not in a specific sense anyway. Growing up everything was just kind of in place for me, and I went right along, which is great. I never really considered choice and options outside of what everyone else was doing. I loved childhood, and my early "adult" years at college, but I never really considered what I would become as an adult. I didn't think about where I would live, or what experiences I would have.
If you asked me anything about being an adult I probably would have said I would get married, have kids, stay at home while my husband worked, we would live in a house. It would all be so straightforward.
Now I have lived a little bit of my adult life, and I am finding out that it is quite the journey, especially in this day and age. There is a lot of opportunity to move and change and try different things.
I did get married. I have one child (plus one on the way) but that is about as far as I got on my initial life plan.
I mean at 27 I (only) have one child, I thought by now I would have a couple running around and more to come. I lived in 5 different apartments + one townhouse in 4 different states, I thought by now I would certainly be settled into a starter home. I spent four years on the east coast living in Pittsburgh and Maryland, something I probably never could have even dreamed or comprehended as a child or young adult.
But I think more than the facts of my adult life, the thing that is the most surprising is my view of the world. My beliefs. What I value. Who I am and who I am becoming. It's all so different than I ever could have imagined.
It is interesting to live in a world where the things and people around me haven't seemed to change too much but I have changed on so many levels. It can be kind of hard to know how to interact with people who have an idea about who I am, that is possibly a little dated. How does one open up to say I'm different now, but I still love and accept you as you are.
It also makes me wonder how many people I think are a certain way based on past experiences, but have changed in the journey of life too. I wonder if we were all just a bit more vulnerable what we would come to understand about each other.
It's something I'd like to jump into. The whole vulnerability thing. Sharing the things that I mostly don't talk about, but that are on my mind and heart and certainly creating the person I am. Even if it is just to document my journey, because to be honest, I am loving the journey. I feel like I am growing and expanding and it is exciting.
Being an adult is sure a lot of unknowns, but it has been thrilling to allow it to all unfold in ways I could never have imagined. Last night I was reading in Alma 5 and two phrases stood out to me. It says "their souls were illuminated" and "their souls did expand." Right at this present moment, that description is perfectly how I feel.
I know I have kept this blog over the past 6 years as a family journal of sorts, but I think I would like to include my own personal journey as well. I hope if you are here reading this that you can connect in some way or another.
Maybe more than anything I hope to understand the person I am and the person I am becoming as I allow this journey of life to continue to unfold. I also hope to share the things that are illuminating and expanding my soul.
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